The Prank
by Smileyfax
Summary: Daria and Jane plan a prank for the Halloween dance.


"We should prank the Halloween dance," Jane said abruptly.

"That would involve actually attending the dance, Jane, which I'm loath to do after the last one," Daria said, annoyed at the memory.

"Jeez, Daria, it wasn't all that bad." Daria just glared at Jane over the rims of her glasses. "Okay, maybe it was, but this one will be better! I promise!"

Daria sighed and closed her book. "I suppose you already have a prank in mind."

Jane nodded. "We'll spike the punch!"

Daria blinked at Jane. "Okay, Kevin, what have you done with my friend Jane?"

Jane lightly tapped Daria on the arm, who let out an exaggerated "Ow!" and began rubbing it like it was broken. "We'll spike the punch Heaven's Gate style, amiga."

"While the idea of poisoning everybody at Lawndale High has its merits, there are one or two people at school who are only mildly annoying and therefore don't deserve to die."

Jane waggled her finger. "We won't ACTUALLY put poison in the punch, Daria. We'll just tell everyone that it's the only way to get to the comet! And then after they drink it, we tell them it's poisoned."

Daria nodded. "Do you have any pranks in mind for when we go to prison for inciting a riot?"

"Come ON, Daria! You just know you can't resist me."

Daria sighed again. "Okay, Jane. I just know I'm going to regret this...but let's do it."

XXXX

Jodie was surprised to see Daria and Jane show up to the dance planning committee the next day, but welcomed their participation - and indeed, they were participating up a storm. She watched as they singlehandedly (doublehandedly?) took over the planning of the dance by themselves, making it extraterrestrial-themed, with papier-mache flying saucers hanging from the rafters of Lawndale High's gym, and spooky-looking rubber-masked 'Grey' aliens peeking in from the windows. Jane even borrowed her brother's fog and lighting machines to give the dance an even eerier atmosphere.

She wondered why Daria and Jane spent so much time in the kitchen, and when she asked, Daria replied that they were sabotaging the punch. Jodie rolled her eyes and quit asking.

XXXX

Finally, the night of the Halloween dance rolled around. (Thanks to Ms. Li booking out the gymnasium for other activities in an effort to generate more money, the dance took place on November 3rd). For the most part, people enjoyed the dance, though there were complaints that there wasn't anything to drink except water from the fountains and Ultra Cola from the vending machines.

At 11:50, Daria and Jane (who were wearing their usual clothing...as well as alien eyes bobbing on spring 'antennas' attached to headbands on their heads) wheeled out a cart with a punch bowl on it. Inside the bowl was a deep red liquid resembling blood, with mist roiling out of the bowl constantly (courtesy of a piece of dry ice at the bottom of the bowl). They wheeled the cart all the way to the front of the gymnasium, where the stage which held the music stood.

Both stood up on the stage, and Jane began reciting a speech she had cast to memory.

"Tonight, on All Hallow's Eve -"

"Plus three," Daria snarked.

Jane poked Daria without turning away from the crowd. "We honor extraterrestrials through history. Tonight, we shall toast their memories, in hopes that they will open the heavens for us and let us join them. Tonight!"

All the students filed by as Jane gave them a plastic cup and ladled some punch into it. Finally, everybody had a cup of punch. "To Gort!" Jane called out.

"To Gort!" the students responded.

"To Alf!"

"To Alf!"

"To Xenu!"

"To Xenu!"

"To Mac!"

"To Mac!"

"To the alien from 'Alien'," Daria interrupted.

"To the alien from...'Alien'?" A few people sputtered out. Jane glared at Daria for interrupting her rhythm.

"And now, at the stroke of midnight, let us drink!"

Everybody in the gymnasium drank down their punch. Only when they finished did they notice Daria and Jane hadn't touched theirs.

"Did I mention to reach the heavens, we have to abandon our earthly shells?" Jane said, faux-sheepish.

"That means you just drank the literal metaphorical Kool-Aid," Daria pointed out.

The gymnasium was silent for three seconds. Then Brittany Taylor broke the silence with an ear-piercing shriek, followed by most of the rest of the student body as they began panicking.

"Hey! HEY!" Daria shouted. Hearing Daria actually raise her voice was enough to stop everybody in their tracks.

"Happy Halloween," Daria said with a small smile, and drank her punch.

The student body sighed in relief as one. It was a prank. They could see that now, with Jane chuckling up on stage standing next to Daria, who had finished her punch as well.

Then Kevin Thompson fell to his knees and began screaming in pain. Seconds later, he was vomiting blood.

Several students moved to help him, but they too were stricken and began screaming and/or vomiting blood.

As Daria looked dumbfounded as her peers and even a few friends died painfully and messily, Jane tapped her on her shoulder to draw her attention. "You know, Daria, I knew you wouldn't actually want to kill everybody in high school with me, which is why I made you think it was just a prank." She fished a black bottle out of one of her pockets. It had a skull and crossbones on in - the symbol for poison. "I slipped this into the bowl just before we entered the gymnasium, when you weren't looking. The poison actually came in a clear bottle with its name on a label and everything, but I figured I'd go with the classic design...even if it is a little cliche."

Daria raised her hand towards the bottle, but her arm suddenly lost all strength as a fierce burning sensation hit her in the stomach and began spreading out to her whole body. She fell to her knees and violently expelled the contents of her stomach (which included the quickly-dissolving pieces of that same organ) as Jane sat down in front of her (mindful of the vomit).

"It smells awful in here now," Jane complained. Daria managed to stop vomiting for a few seconds and looked at Jane once more. Just before her vision blackened to nothing, Jane held her glass out to Daria. "Here's to us, amiga!" Jane toased, then threw back the glass and downed it in one gulp.

XXXXXXXXXX

Just a little something I thought I'd whip up for the holiday. Happy Halloween! 


End file.
